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When you cannot change things, you’d better be disciplined – Claudio Feruglio

In my las post Pairing can be Unconsciously Powerful, I commented an article (Research shows that two people can learn to cooperate intuitively, but larger groups need to communicate) and explained how …

working in pair you can create what’s called rapport: one of the most important features or characteristics of subconscious communication. It is commonality of perspective: being “in sync” with, or being “on the same wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking. This goes beyond written rules or pre-set methods. As the sync is at the unconscious level, pairing can be unconsciously powerful

Now is this rapport what you really want when, for example, you are pairing in a pair programming session? Yes and no

Yes: if this means establishing a trustful and proactive relationship where the fight to achieve an excellent result takes place;

No: if this means not adding to the couple the necessary tension. This tension is the generative sparkle of the relationship. A good example of this deviation in the case of pair programming is what Francesco define with mamma programming where the two are looking for mutual protection and reciprocal approval.

Feedback?

PierG

Lately I was attracted by post on Lifehacker called Two People Cooperate Intuitively; Larger Groups Need to Make a Conscious Effort to Communicate. Having done some studying on hypnosis, I was curios and so I read the article that was quoted in that post called: Research shows that two people can learn to cooperate intuitively, but larger groups need to communicate.

The result of this research of the University of Leicester can be summarized by the first sentence:

Two people can learn to cooperate with each other intuitively without communication or any conscious intention to cooperate. But this process breaks down in groups of three or more.

Two interesting concepts (from a work point of view):

  1. working in pair you can create what’s called rapport: one of the most important features or characteristics of subconscious communication. It is commonality of perspective: being "in sync" with, or being "on the same wavelength" as the person with whom you are talking. This goes beyond written rules or pre-set methods. As the sync is at the unconscious level, pairing can be unconsciously powerful.
  2. moving from two to infinite need a shift from an “unconscious mind based communication” to a “conscious mind based communication”. Here the conscious mind enter the fray applying all sort of filters due to presuppositions, different values, different experiences and so on. These filters generate different ‘views of the word’ and so a common map to walk in this word is needed.

PierG


Courtesy of woodleywonderworks, Some Rights Reserved

Bandler says that everything is hypnosis, Erickson said that nothing is hypnosis: I don’t know, they are probably both right and wrong.

What I think is that everything is feedback.

We continuously react and adapt to context. And in the context of people we can enter in a more active or passive way.

As we cannot “not to communicate”, people react and adapt to our communication: being able to notice it or not, being able use the language to explore and stimulate people’s feedback … is another story. And it is a veeeery interesting story 🙂

Have you ever heard of NLP? Everything is feedback: a definition of NLP.

PierG

 
Courtesy of Haiko, Some Rights Reserved

There are many decisions making techniques: most of the them are based on the decision making process. They teach you how to split, to partitionate, to analyze, to weight, to make bifurcation or things like that.

Few of them are not dealing with the most important ingredient of decision making that’s also one of the most widely diffused illness of our management: (lack of) attitude.

Making decisions is like any of our physical and intellectual skills (mind and body are the same stuff, right?): if you want to be good at it, if have to do it and then do it and then do it and then ….

So the best decision making technique is not a technique but a mantra you will repeat day after day, hour after hour starting from now: "decide early, decide small!", "decide early, decide small!", "decide early, decide small!" …

PierG

image
By uncwshelley

During my commute, I was listening to the radio. I was not focused at all to what the radio was playing while I got hit by something … a commercial!

Speaker <<My mom used to say it about the undershirt>>
Mom <<You can’t get out without it>>
Speaker <<My friends used to say it about the bike>>
Friend <<You can’t get out without it>>
Speaker <<My boss used to say it about the tie>>
Boss <<You can’t get out without it>>
Speaker … commercial message … <<You can’t get out without it>>

In the plot I was not the target of the message but what my mind unconsciously heard was a clear message <<YOU can’t get out without it>>

Very powerful technique! It’s a mix of what are called ’embedded commands’ and ‘yes set’ pattern.

The only small complain I make is that they’d better use a non negative sentence. Our brain doesn’t cope very well with negative stuff. If I write <<think at a blue tree>>, you imagine (so you DO think at) a blue tree and then you try not to think at it 🙂

So a even better message might have been <<You need it to get out>> <<You must have it to get out>> or something like that.

PierG

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