The biggest mistake you can do while in a conflict is confusing the object of the conflict with the people involved.

The evil process is like this:

  1. you start reasoning about the real object of the conflict
  2. you move to discussion about principles about it
  3. you end up yelling against your counterpart involved with the 3P effect:
    • PERMANENT: she always behaves like this, she will never change!
    • PERSONAL: it’s not he problem really, it’s herself reasoning that way!
    • PERVASIVE: she is like that in every thing she does

How can you find an agreement with such a monster? So keep your eyes on the real object!!