The biggest mistake you can do while in a conflict is confusing the object of the conflict with the people involved.
The evil process is like this:
- you start reasoning about the real object of the conflict
- you move to discussion about principles about it
- you end up yelling against your counterpart involved with the 3P effect:
- PERMANENT: she always behaves like this, she will never change!
- PERSONAL: it’s not he problem really, it’s herself reasoning that way!
- PERVASIVE: she is like that in every thing she does
How can you find an agreement with such a monster? So keep your eyes on the real object!!