I’ve received this interesting comment (Luka: what can I do to move up the conversation with someone that is not used to listen?) to a previous post.

Of course it’s not easy to answer and I’ll try to give some ideas based on what I know and my experience.

  • think at what YOU can do to move up the conversation. Saying: please could you please pay more attention or something like that is not working! If this one-on-one is going to change is because you will do something different;
  • try in a better moment: probably your counterpart is not used to listen but sometimes is more open or available. So stop the discussion and try in a better moment.
  • use her behavioral model: if she is mainly Visual, try to catch her attention saying something that is meaningful for her model. Something like: Bob, I’d like to clarify this and that. I’ll show you xxx so you’ll be able to see(read this and this for further info on behavioral models)
  • change the ‘status’ of the meeting: use your fantasy. Take a break. Jump. Fall down and simulate an accident. It’s useful if you two can drink some water, have a little walk and breath fresh air. Also changing the heart rate for a small amount of time can help.
  • be in rapport: if you have ever heard about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) you know what ‘be in rapport’ means. If you are not familiar with this concept, it is that feeling of being ‘in sync’ with someone. What the NLP guys say is that you can train yourself so that it’s easier for you to be in rapport with people. The purpose (among others) is to establish a better communication channel between individuals to have a more effective communication.
  • ask questions: especially if you are ‘in sync’ with your counterpart, you can try to start asking questions. Questions that can lead her toward the solution.

These are some ideas I had. I’d really love to have feedback and ideas on this topic.